well gentle reader, i would say good morning to you, except i am not a morning person per se. you see – insomnia and i are very good friends. and insomnia is not the friend you want to have.

as i was sleeping a short while ago, i became aware of a commotion going on around me. the part of my brain that never sleeps starts chuckling: you’re gonna have to get up and you’re not going to like it. the commotion sounds like there is a mini herd of elephants in my home. what the ‘ell? i begin to hear a sniffing type sound in my ear, followed by the cold nose of the heinous hound kilo. i turn over. i hear a scratching at the door. i ignore it. the scratching becomes a bit more urgent.

aw crap i think. why doesnt grumpy let the dogs out before he goes to work??? SCRATCH. ok already i think at kilo. SCRATCH. ok kilo – i’m getting up. now you know from my initial post, i have two dogs. Allow me to introduce you to kilo. we think he’s half lab, half dane. but we know he’s all stupid. and then there is the pez. i’ll save the how we got the Pez story for another day… lol. Pez is a westie (a west whiteland white terrier…) 17.6lbs of little dog who thinks he’s a big dog. Grumpy and i have come to the conclusion that kilo somehow knows when pez has to go potty in the middle of the night and will wake us up. So i grudgingly get up – hey, i was comfortable and asleep – remember, i’m an insomniac.

i stumble over to the door and hook the dogs up on their leads and let them out. as i’m doing that, i’m thinking should i go back to bed? can i get back to sleep? *growls and grumbles* f*ck it, i’m getting up, i cant go back to sleep now. I head for my beloved coffee pot, which i conveniently set up the night before and have set to start brewing the nectar of the gods at 7am. as its 5.50am, i have to manually turn it on and listen for the sweet sounds of coffee brewing.

hmmm i wonder quietly to myself. do i want to get online? i aint goin back to sleep so, why not *in my best eyore voice*. did i spell eyore right? ya’ll remember eyore from aw crap. memory blank. gimme a bit my friends and i’ll remember winnie the pooh lol.

so by this time, i have a half a pot of my coffee ready and can get a cuppa to start my morning. but first, since my puter is ancient lol i have to click on my browser and wait a few before it decides to open.. *someday i’ll have a better puter*. i check on the hounds, get my cuppa and take my meds and by this time, et voila – i have a working browser.

I check on the hounds – they’re still doing their business. Ye gods dogs – it’s 6am – can ya hurry it up a bit please?? but then i think why hurry, im not going back to bed. fortunatly, as i sit here at my puter, its next to my front window so i can keep an eye out for them. HOTFLASH ALERT. yo – can someone turn on the ac please, its getting hot in here. *note to self – you must must must post about mentalpause and hotflashes… 😉 *

and at last – the circus sideshow act i call my furry kids are ready to come in – and yes, kilo knocks on the door. * note to self – post about how bones discovered the doorbell…* I, as a good mommy will, immediately stops whatever i am doing and goes to let them in.

Picture the scene: i’m in my jammies stumbling around in semidarkness, smoke hanging out of the corner of my mouth (picture peg bundy… lol). i get to the front door, open it and in come the hounds. i have to untangle their leads before i let them off (which i really hate – minime is supposed to buy them a new lead… wait, did we tell her she had to do that? lol). the mutts are patient with mommy, probably because they know mommy loves them most, especially her ki. (aunt jenny would be remiss in not sending a shout out to her beloved adopted woofie peanut – dont worry, tales to come lol). so at last i get them untangled and unhooked.

then the chaos starts. now mind you its 6amish by this time. at least one other person is asleep in this house. as i am the ever vigilant defender of sleep, i have got to get my herd quieted down. why the chaos you ask? because *sighs deeply* grumpy has taught them that they get a treat first thing in the morning, before he leaves for work and they expect a treat when they come in. EXPECTS TREATS? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!! but yes – expect treats they do – and as soon as pez was off his lead – he began running laps around the couch. i get kilo untied and he begins dancing.

have you ever seen a 100lb idjit dance? its a hoot. but kilo’s dancing and talking all over the place, pez is running laps and minime’s sleeping. i sigh (that will happen alot, you’ll see…) c’mon woofs, lets get a treat. i’m heading to the kitchen as i say this and pez is on his last lap around the couch. but… once i said that – that little dog turned into a bullet and beat me into the kitchen lol. have you ever seen a westie run? its a hoot lol. i get my furry kids their treats – and by now, it sounds like i gave my woofs a handful of doggie downers – but hey- its quiet in here which was my objective you know.

the clock on my puter now says 6.35am. its quiet. all’s well. and i’m still awake.

insomnia – its not just for teenagers anymore.