gentle readers.  i’m bored.  i was going to title this i wonder why as i wonder why the blog entry 8/16 seems to be so important to several people  who are going out of their way to hide their identities to read (amongst other entries and creative search terms), but i couldnt find the right song for the opening lyrics and the song i did listen to made my ears bleed.  It was abruptly shut off.

So i sit here bored.  I can only kill so many people on mafia wars before that gets old and how many mega casino’s do i really need?  (i own like 10 bars though <seg>).  My farm on farmville is coming along nicely and you can only harvest your livestock once a day so…  I am working on getting together with some of my friends which is a good thing.  But i am bored.

And Cold.

The twain should ne’er meet.  I dont mind being bored when its warm out.  I can go to the lake and chill with some tunes.  Or take a ride to the park and chill with some tunes.  (oh shades of summers past hmm and perhaps a park revisited get together this spring….).  But being bored when you’re cold sucks.  Really – c’mon, just how many layers of clothes can you put on?  How many blankets do you need to curl under just to pretend your warm?  The sun outside mocks you – its bright sunlight calls you to it and like a moth to a flame you go, only to find that its freakin could out dammit!

But its january – the solstice has passed, the sun is gaining its strength again.  The days are slowly becoming longer – enough that you notice as you drive out to the store at 4.50pm, there is still light enough to see clearly by, headlights are not necessary yet.

Yet i find myself bored still.  And sad.  I wonder why He keeps moving the finish line.  Whoever coined the phrase “that which doesnt kill you makes you stronger” lied.  I’d personally like to have oh, say, 20 minutes alone with him.

But all the boredom and sadness aside, i do find some comfort in Neitzsche:  No price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.

While life hasn’t killed me yet, and by “rights” i should be Atlas, able to shoulder the world – Nietzsche is absolutely correct in that it is a privilege to be able to own myself at any price rather than to deny what i am for a price like to many do….