Alice’s Restaurant Entire Massacre Movement gentle readers.  Wow, i cant believe a whole year has gone by since i’ve started my blog and that Thanksgiving has rolled around again.  I promised you, gentle readers, that I would do a Thanksgiving Tribute every year with Arlo and Alice’s Restaurant and thats a promise i dont make lightly as i’ve loved Arlo for goin on 30 years now and the same with Alice’s’ Restaurant.  It just seems to be the right thing to do and its something i’ve done here with 93.3 wmmr’s Pierre Robert who plays alice at 11am and then again at 1pm i think (mebbe 2 -not sure) for the last 30 odd years.

I remember buying the record and taping it (i took excellent care of my records – they were my works of art, my muses and i would play them to tape them and never play them again until the tape ran out lol) and playing it for my mom.  i dont remember where we were driving too but when he got to the part near the end when he said if 2 people, 2 people walk in, sing a bar of alice’s restaurant, in harmony, and walk out, they might think they’re both faggots and they wont take either of them.  now remember people, this is the 60’s/70’s and vietnam was still going on and there was no such thing as pc (which is destroying our world today).  but my mom heard that and i start hearing her chuckling quietly until she just came out with a full belly laugh.  she was hooked.  it also worked with joe walshes lifes been good – i lost my licence, now i dont drive =made my mom laugh as well. dont say my family doesnt have a sense of humor!

but today isnt blog day – today is my 2nd annual Alice’s Restaurant Entire Massacre Movement and all you have to do to join is sing it the next time it comes around on the gitar, with feelin.   And… the video i’m using is an updated video which has taken parts of the movie and added it to the song (hte group W bench is a riot) and its an older Arlo singing it -in the same church the song was written about.

I give you now – Alice’s Restaurant

Alice’s Restaurant
By Arlo Guthrie

This song is called Alice's Restaurant, and it's about Alice,
 and the restaurant, but Alice's Restaurant is not the name 
of the restaurant,that's just the name of the song,
 and that's why I called the song Alice's Restaurant.

You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want at Alice's Restaurant

Now it all started two Thanksgivings ago, was on - 
two years ago onThanksgiving, when my friend  and 
I went up to visit Alice at the restaurant, but 
Alice doesn't live in the restaurant, she lives 
in the church nearby the restaurant, in the bell-tower,
 with her husband Ray and Fasha the dog. And livin'
 in the bell tower like that, they got a lot of
room downstairs where the pews used to be in.  
Havin' all that room, seein' as how they took out
 all the pews, they decided that they didn't
have to take out their garbage for a long time.

We got up there, we found all the garbage in there,
 and we decided it'd be a friendly gesture for us 
to take the garbage down to the city dump.  So
we took the half a ton of garbage, put it in the 
back of a red VW microbus, took shovels and rakes
 and implements of destruction and headed
on toward the city dump.

Well we got there and there was a big sign and a
 chain across across the dump saying, 
"Closed on Thanksgiving."  And we had never heard
 of a dump closed on Thanksgiving before, and with
 tears in our eyes we drove off into the sunset
 looking for another place to put the garbage.

We didn't find one. Until we came to a side road, 
and off the side of the side road there was another
 fifteen foot cliff and at the bottom of the
cliff there was another pile of garbage. And we 
decided that one big pile is better than two little piles,
 and rather than bring that one up we
decided to throw our's down.

That's what we did, and drove back to the church,
 had a thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat, 
went to sleep and didn't get up until the
next morning, when we got a phone call from
officer Obie.  He said, "Kid, we found your name 
on an envelope at the bottom of a half a ton of
garbage, and just wanted to know if you had any 
information about it." And I said, "Yes, sir, Officer Obie,
 I cannot tell a lie, I put that envelope under that garbage."

After speaking to Obie for about fourty-five minutes
 on the telephone we finally arrived at the truth of 
the matter and said that we had to go down and pick
 up the garbage, and also had to go down and speak 
to him at the police officer's station.  So we got 
in the red VW microbus with the shovels and rakes and 
implements of destruction and headed on toward the
police officer's station.

Now friends, there was only one or two things that 
Obie coulda done at the police station, and the first
 was he could have given us a medal for being so brave 
and honest on the telephone, which wasn't very likely
 and we didn't expect it, and the other thing was he
 could have bawled us out and told us never to be seen
 driving garbage around the vicinity again, which is what
 we expected, but when we got to the police officer's 
station there was a third possibility that we hadn't even
counted upon, and we was both immediately arrested. 
 Handcuffed.  And I said "Obie, I don't think I
can pick up the garbage with these handcuffs on." 
 He said, "Shut up, kid. Get in the back of the patrol car."

And that's what we did, sat in the back of the patrol car
 and drove to the quote Scene of the Crime unquote. I want
 tell you about the town of Stockbridge, Massachusets, 
where this happened here, they got three stop signs, two 
police officers, and one police car, but when we got to 
the Scene of the Crime there was five police officers
 and three police cars, this being the biggest crime 
of the last fifty years, and everybody wanted to
get in the newspaper story about it. And they was 
using up all kinds of cop equipment that they had 
hanging around the police officer's station.
They was taking plaster tire tracks, foot prints, 
dog smelling prints, and they took twenty seven 
eight-by-ten colour glossy photographs with circles
and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one
 explaining what each one was to be used as evidence 
against us.  Took pictures of the approach,
the getaway, the northwest corner the southwest corner 
and that's not to mention the aerial photography.

After the ordeal, we went back to the jail.  Obie said
 he was going to put us in the cell.  Said, "Kid, I'm
 going to put you in the cell, I want your
wallet and your belt."  And I said, "Obie, I can understand 
you wanting my wallet so I don't have any money to spend  
in the cell, but what do you
 want my belt for?"  And he said, "Kid, we don't want any 
hangings."  I said, "Obie, did you think I was going to hang 
myself for littering?"  Obie said he was making sure, and friends 
Obie was, cause he took out the toilet seat so I couldn't hit 
myself over the head and drown, and he took out the toilet paper
 so I couldn't bend the bars roll out the - roll the
 toilet paper out the window, slide down the roll and have
 an escape.  Obie was making sure, and it was about four
 or five hours later that Alice 
(remember Alice? It's a song about Alice),
 Alice came by and with a few nasty words to Obie on the side,
 bailed us out of jail, and we went back to the church, had
 a another thanksgiving dinner that couldn't be beat,
 and didn't get up until the next morning, when we all
 had to go to court.

We walked in, sat down, Obie came in with the twenty seven
 eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows
 and a paragraph on the back of each one, sat down.  
Man came in said, "All rise."  We all stood up, and Obie stood 
up with the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures,
 and the judge walked in sat down with a seeing eye dog, and he
sat down, we sat down. Obie looked at the seeing eye dog, 
and then at the twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures 
with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one,
 and looked at the seeing eye dog. And then at twenty seven 
eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with circles and arrows 
and a paragraph on the back of each one and began to cry,
'cause Obie came to the realization that it was a typical
 case of American blind justice, and there wasn't nothing he
 could do about it, and the judge wasn't going to look at the
 twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures with the circles
 and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what
 each one was to be used as evidence against us.  And we was 
fined $50 and had to pick up the garbage in the snow, but thats not
what I came to tell you about.

Came to talk about the draft.

They got a building down New York City, it's called Whitehall
 Street, where you walk in, you get injected, inspected, 
detected, infected, neglected and selected.  I went down to
 get my physical examination one day, and I walked in, I sat
 down, got good and drunk the night before, so I looked and
 felt my best when I went in that morning.  `Cause I 
wanted to look like the all-American kid from New York City,
 man I wanted, I wanted to feel like the all-, I wanted to
 be the all American kid from New York, and I walked in,
 sat down, I was hung down, brung down, hung up, and all
kinds o' mean nasty ugly things. And I waked in and sat
 down and they gave me a piece of paper, said, "Kid, see
 the phsychiatrist, room 604."

And I went up there, I said, "Shrink, I want to kill. 
 I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill.  Kill.  I wanna, I wanna 
see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my 
teeth.  Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL."
 And I started jumpin up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL," and
he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both 
jumping up and down yelling, "KILL, KILL."  And the sargent 
came over, pinned a medal on me,sent me down the hall, said,
 "You're our boy."

Didn't feel too good about it.

Proceeded on down the hall gettin more injections, 
inspections, detections, neglections and all kinds 
of stuff that they was doin' to me at the thing there, 
and I was there for two hours, three hours, four
hours, I was there for a long time going through all
 kinds of mean nasty ugly things and I was just having 
a tough time there, and they was inspecting, injecting every
 single part of me, and they was leaving no part untouched. 
 Proceeded through, and when I finally came to the see the
last man, I walked in, walked in sat down after a whole big
thing there, and I walked up and said, "What do you want?" 
 He said, "Kid, we only got one question.
 Have you ever been arrested?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the Alice's 
Restaurant Massacre,with full orchestration and five 
part harmony and stuff like that and allthe phenome... - 
and he stopped me right there and said, "Kid, did you ever
go to court?"

And I proceeded to tell him the story of the 
twenty seven eight-by-ten colour glossy pictures 
with the circles and arrows and the paragraph on
the back of each one, and he stopped me right 
there and said, "Kid, I want you to go and sit down 
on that bench that says Group W .... NOW kid!!"

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, 
and there is, Group W's where they put you if you 
may not be moral enough to join the army after
committing your special crime, and there was all 
kinds of mean nasty ugly looking people on the bench there.
 Mother rapers.  Father stabbers.  Father rapers!  Father rapers
 sitting right there on the bench next to me!  And they was mean
 and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on 
the bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, 
the meanest father raper of them all, was coming over to me 
and he was mean 'n' ugly'n' nasty 'n' horrible and all kind
 of things and he sat down next to me and said, "Kid, whad'ya get?"
 I said, "I didn't get nothing, I had to pay $50 and pick up 
the garbage."  He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?"
And I said, "Littering."  And they all moved away from me on 
the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean
 nasty things, till I said, "And creating a nuisance." 
 And they all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time
 on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing,father raping,
 all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the
bench.  And everything was fine, we was smoking cigarettes and 
all kinds of things, until the Sargeant came over, had some paper 
in his hand, held it up and said.

"Kids, this-piece-of-paper's-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-
we-wanna-know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-
other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-
crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-officer's-name-and-any-other-
kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say", and talked for forty-five minutes
 and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had fun filling
 out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there,
and I filled out the massacre with the four part harmony, 
and wrote it down there, just like it was, and everything was 
fine and I put down the pencil, and I turned over the piece of 
paper, and there, there on the other side, in the middle of 
the other side, away from everything else on the other side,
in parentheses, capital letters, quotated, read the following words:

("KID, HAVE YOU REHABILITATED YOURSELF?")

I went over to the sargent, said, "Sargeant, you got a lot a
 damn gall to ask me if I've rehabilitated myself, I mean, 
I mean, I mean that just, I'msittin' here on th e bench, I mean
 I'm sittin here on the Group W bench 'cause you want to know
 if I'm moral enough join the army, burn women, kids, houses and
 villages after bein' a litterbug."  He looked at me and
said, "Kid, we don't like your kind, and we're gonna send
 your fingerprints off to Washington."

And friends, somewhere in Washington enshrined in some
 little folder, is a study in black and white of my 
fingerprints.  And the only reason I'm singing you 
this song now is cause you may know somebody in a similar
situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and 
if your in a situation like that there's only one thing 
you can do and that's walk into the shrink wherever you are
, just walk in say "Shrink, You can get anything you want,
 at Alice's restaurant.".  And walk out.  You know, if
one person, just one person does it they may think he's 
really sick and they won't take him.  And if two people, 
two people do it, in harmony, they may think they're both
 faggots and they won't take either of them.
And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people 
walking in singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and walking out.
 They may think it's an organization.  And can you, can you
 imagine fifty people a day,I said fifty people a day walking
 in singin a bar of Alice's Restaurant and
walking out.  And friends they may thinks it's a movement.

And that's what it is , the Alice's Restaurant Anti-Massacre
 Movement, and all you got to do to join is sing it the next
 time it come's around on the guitar.

With feeling.  So we'll wait for it to come around on the 
guitar, here and sing it when it does.  Here it comes.

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

That was horrible.  If you want to end war and stuff
 you got to sing loud.  I've been singing this song now
 for twenty five minutes. I could sing it
for another twenty five minutes.  I'm not proud... 
or tired.

So we'll wait till it comes around again, and this time
 with four part harmony and feeling.

We're just waitin' for it to come around is what we're doing.

All right now.

You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Excepting Alice
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant
Walk right in it's around the back
Just a half a mile from the railroad track
You can get anything you want, at Alice's Restaurant

Da da da da da da da dum
At Alice's Restaurant

©1966,1967 (Renewed) by Appleseed Music Inc. All Rights Reserved.

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