Merry Christmas gentle readers!  He is born! Christmas has never been my favorite time of year, as a matter of fact, i dread it coming starting oh say Halloween lol.  Because at Halloween the commercialism for thanksgiving starts and oh about midway between halloween and thanksgiving, the Christmas commercialism begins and the headaches start. and boy what headaches they are.  the stress of dealing with increased traffic at the malls, the people who just totally forget good manners in their quest to get that which you came for dinner that night. The next person who tries to take what i’m getting out of my hand will have their hand removed.  and i’ll be smiling.  there are times when i am not a very nice person.

I honestly wonder about the people who forget how to behave properly for 2 months of the year.  its those two months i dread because i’m likely to get arrested for assault and battery because the jacka$$ in front of me stopped dead in their tracks for no reason and get pissed off when i run into them – oh waaaaahhhh.  this time of year, my stress level skyrockets and thank god for valium.  its the only thing keeping me out of jail right now lol.  and the only thing thats enabling me to tolerate my family but those are stories for another year, decade, drinks with friends at the bar when i can complain with the best of them lmsao.  dont get me wrong – i have the most amazing family to be blessed with but THEY DRIVE ME NUTS.

Then there is the never ending sounds of christmas music.  as you know, music is my life, its what keeps me going, gives me hope and strength when im down, makes me laugh and cry, but as much as i love My Lord and Saviour, if i hear feliz navidad etc, the shakes start, the rage begins to rise and mayem will begin if i cant get away from it.  thats not to say that i dont like ALL Christmas music – Trans Siberian Orchestra ROCKS – Christmas in Sarajevo i can listen to over and over again.  The video i linked it to is incredible – i LOVE Christmas lights and this house sync’d their lights to the music and its absolutly rockin!  If i was there, i’d be standing in front of the house conducting to the music, much like i did when rick, cath and i did when we went to see Roger Waters.  Music like that reaches into my heart and mind and takes me away.  Another one of my all time favorites is Bing and Bowie doing the Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth. sigh.  its truly a beautiful rendition of two classics, one contemporary, one timeless and if it doesnt reach inside you and touch you deep within – you’ve got something seriously wrong with you.

But this morning, i made the prerequisite calls to my sisters who live out of state (there isnt a state in this country big enough to handle the 3 of us for more than a day – not even tejas my friends lol) and got that out of the way.  Then i started calling my friends and emailing the friends i know who have small kids and who dont have the time to talk without the Christmas battlecries in the background.   I’ll call katydid tomorrow when the excitement is over.  with 2 young boys, i wouldnt call her if my life depended on it because i remember what its like having two small children on christmas mornings.  and those are the memories i cherish while i despise this time of year.  eyes shining, excitement palpable (mebbe that was the year i bought grumps the pipes he wanted for the wide glide lol – the look on his face was PRICELESS).  hmm, did i scan that pic in?  lemme check: nope, i didnt scan it in – but its probably in my fotobucket account.  but he was so happy – and thats what makes me happy – seeing those i love happy.

I would so love to post the pic of my sons tat that i bought him for his birthday, but he’s not here at the moment so i wont post any pics of him without his permission but damn the boy’s a fantastic artist, and the artist who cleaned up his work and did the tat did a fantastic job.  I am VERY PROUD of m’boy!  My beauty minime is home for her Christmas vakay and i’d love to post pics of her, but there are a couple of psycopaths who would love to lift pics of my children despite the copyright i have on my blog and post them on sick sites, thats how sick and immoral they are so my children shall remain anon, except for the bragging i, as a very proud momma get to do.

I, as a writer HAVE to direct you to Hyberbole and a Half, the festive entry.  Holy Crap it had me laughing so hard yesterday morning that despite being sick as a dog, grumps starts telling me stop coughing.  i told him, with tears running down my face, i cant – im laughing cough cough laugh laugh.   the year kenny loggins ruined my christmas. i cant, without cussing, praise this post enough.  Allie Bosch, you are my hero!!!  i think i need to buy myself a bottle of yukon jack and do a shot in her honor!  ok, lots of shots as she and i are much alike except she writes better than i and i cant draw lol.

Im trying to put myself into a good mood.  we had a christmas dinner that couldnt be beat (damn im good) but the afterglow is slowly fading into the pit of despair.  I spent the day cooking, making the hors d’oveurs (did i spell that right?   aw, who cares) and when dinner was finally ready, i got the plates out for grumps, minime and her boyfriend and my son.  Minime asked  mom, arent you going to eat?  No honey, i spent the day cooking nad tasting – im not hungry anymore lol.  However, we all stood around while grumps said Grace – something that i always look forward too.  There were a few things i feel he should have mentioned but who am i to speak?  The happiness i felt watching everyone eat a turkey that took a day to defrost out of our chest freezer (its been in there for quite some time lol) and defrost in the fridge, the smashed taters with garlic and parmesean cheese, all the goodies made the tiny heart of this grinch grow somewhat.  but what really made me feel good was teh fact that grumps did the cleaning up after dinner.  i was dreading it as i do it every year seeing as none of my children can lift a finger to help clean up after a holiday dinner but when i finally went in the kitchen, there was my beloved washing plates and pans, utensils and stuff so while he was doing that, i was wrapping up leftovers, covered the turkey carcass so tomorrow i can finish carving it and then TURKEY SOUP!!!!!  with luck, grumps wont eat this batch of soup in 4 days like he did my last batch of home made chicken soup lol.

I love my husband with all my heart but so help me if i have to watch one more christmas movie, i’m hanging myself off the roof.  I know he watches those movies to help him get in the spirit of the season, but again, i hate all this crap.  Except the Peanuts Christmas Special and the Year Without A Santa Claus.  Other than that, i have no use for christmas movies – oops, i forgot A Christmas Story and National Lampoons Christmas Vacation.  CLASSIC.  Clarks bonus part has been a .wav on my computers at work for years and every  time i had a bad time, i’d listen to that and just start laughing – hallelujah, holy shit, where’s the tylenol!  May the Good Lord Bless and Keep Chevy Chase!!  ahh a classic memory from the not ready for prime time players – im chevy chase and you’re not! <seg>

I see im late for my meds.  I dont like that – i have a schedule and that schedule needs to be kept or i get wiggy.  you see gentle readers, i am heavily medicated for your protection.  *chuckling* i even have that patch on my riding vest and that gets many laughs – and even more when i tell them its the truth!  I have a sick sense of humor – naturally or my beloved blog wouldnt be called Socially Unattractive!  one of my favorite patches is I HAVE PMS AND A HANDGUN – ANY QUESTIONS?  and they have to ask themselves, does she?  does she have a cc?  (thats concealed carry for the uninitiated).  But my beloved butthead has informed me that i am not allowed to be armed on the bike anymore.  Not just my gun, but anything that can be construed as a weapon, a soda bottle, and other little items that can cause damage to the car that is tailgating us.  I’ve even tried to kick a guy off his bike because he was 6 inches off our tail and i literally turned around, looked him in the face and said  GET THE F*CK OFF OUR TAIL.  when he went to pass us – i tried to kick him off his bike – please remember, i’m 6 foot tall with legs that go up to my neck.  sport bikes.  there ought to be a bag and tag license for them.  Thanks to my beloveds riding skills we didnt go off the road or down.

crap crap crap – youtube is down and i cant leave you with the christmas song that i long for, live for and believe.  so you will have to wait until tomorrow when i can come back and edit.  so until then, i will leave you with a fond adieu and i hope you have had a very merry christmas, with the ones you love.  and dont forget our troops overseas – say an extra prayer for them at grace or before you go to bed.  They give so much for so little – our thanks and praise is the least we can give them.  if you dont have it in you – then there is more wrong with you than there is with me.

and so this is christmas……

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