good afternoon gentle friends.  i’ve FINALLY kicked springsteen out of the graymatter jukebox for something far superior, stevie ray vaughans tightrope: Afraid of my own shadow in the face of grace,  heart full of darkness spotlight on my face,  There was love all around me but I was lookin’ for revenge, thank God it never found me would have been the end.

I have no worries about that, Karma is my friend and since there is some loser in Somerdale Mass, IP from Merrimack Pharmaceuticals checking my board for any info on my psycopath stalker suzanne arundale , i have daily search terms for that dumb cunt.  I may just contact merrimack to see if she is employed there and explain the stalking issue to HR and IP and provide my police report number and federal stalking number. but for now i just sit back and smile because Karma is coming for her.  I may just be there to see it happen in full living color and pictures/video. and there are more surprises to come.

but enough about loser ex friends.  the sun is shining, its warm and i dug out my first tank top of the season – YEE FUCKING HA!  as i drive im starting to see life return after the bitter winter.  daffodils, tulips (not my favorite), my ferns are coming up along with my hosta’s and if i dont get rid of that azalea i might just chop the bitch down.  im sick of the heinous hounds getting caught on it lol.  there is nothing better than having to go out in the driving rain to untangle them from the bush. sigh.   but my favorites – willow tree’s – they’re starting to green up – and there is nothing prettier than a willow greening.

the amish have been plowing/fertilizing the fields – there is nothing better than the smell of a freshly plowed field, the promise of future produce starts sinking into my graymatter and all i can think are MATERS!!!!  sweet corn, fresh greens, so much good truly organic food.  you’ll never see monstanto products on an amish farm.  yes i hate monstano and have for years ever since i started reading organic gardening god, 25 years ago when mike mcgrath was the editor and he was the greatest. back then og was fun – now, its keeping up with the joneses and it has lost its appeal for me.  but what i learned all those years ago i still remember, with mikes good humor backing up the memories.  but then again, back then, organic gardening was a grass roots movement, literally and figuratively lol.  and my mom could GROW A GARDEN.  i swear, she touched a plant and it exploded with food.  i wish i inherited her green thumb but seeing as i live in full shade, all that is left to me is rhododendrons (i love them and they used to break my fall when i’d sneak out at night as a teenager – my mom never figured out why one plant never grew… lol) ferns, i’d love to find some ornamental grasses and i think there are some flowers that tolerate full shade.    anything to get rid of the hostas lol.

as i sit here thinking of mom and gardens, the graymatter jukebox started playing those were the days my friend lol.  my teenage years were the best years of my life, being 10 foot tall and bullet proof, the untouchables.  and damn we had a good time.  i had several circles of friends that i hung out with depending on the season l0l.   i always had my main friends, my best friend ick and crew whom i loved dearly and always will, even the ones i cant find.  sucks having a quasinormal name lol. i  dont feel like going thru pages and pages and pages trying to find my old friends.  and as i dont use my maiden name (for a damn good reason) i cant be found.  and i like it that way.  i mentioned my stalker above – she must have had to go thru pages and pages to find me as her face and name kept showing up on my wall – i finally had to block her and report her as a stalker on facebook.  and had quite the laugh about it too.  she got no info to try and use against me, im on lockdown.  if i dont let you in, you dont get in.  same as my home.  if i dont know you, you dont come in.

Like a train that stops at every station
We all deal with trials and tribulations
Fear hangs the fellow that ties up his years
Entangled in yellow and cries all his tears

Changes come before we can go
Learn to see them before we’re too old
Don’t just take me for tryin’ to be heavy
Understand, it’s time to get ready for the storm

i once had a chance to meet stevie ray.  he was opening up for the moody blues and we had backstage passes.  i had never heard of him before and was totally blown away by his performance!   kim and i are backstage and we passed him in the hall and exchanged hello’s but if i knew then what i know now – i’d have been all over him like white on rice!!!