gentle readers – it is a universal truth.  no matter the good you do, you WILL be punished karmicaly  and soon.  why do i say this you wonder quietly to yourself?  welllll, it started last week when me and pat were on our way to curves.  yes, i am still going to curves and reaping the benefits of circuit training and by next summer – holy mary mother of god will i be looking incredibly good -when about oh say 6ish miles down the road, two very pretty deer fawns wandered out in front of larry.  now i know to expect deer and dirtbikers/quads to bust out of the woods at any moment so i am always prepared (especially since my baby boy mikey died out back) and being prepared means splitting the lane as there is rarely oncoming traffic and doing less than the speed limit (which means you can enjoy the scenery).

so as we’re riding down the road, the two exquisitely beautiful fawns leap out in front of us, and then across the road and into the farm across the street.  or so they tried.

the first fawn hit the very large wire fence and turned around and leapt back across the street to where mommy deer had to have been watching and waiting with mixed emotions.  the second fawn must have taken the baby animal equivalent of the short bus as rather than turning around and leaping back to momma deer and apparent safety, this fawn kept trying to force herself thru the very large wire fence.  now by this time i had pulled over on the side of the road so as not to hit either of the fawns (and i dont really want to wreck larry again…) and dagnabbit i was going to do whatever it took to help said short bus fawn to safety!

i put on my hazards, got out of larry and head over to where the poor little thing was trying desperately to get thru the fence.  she was frantic and rubbing her neck and under her eye raw and bloody.  i had to have been leading with my left leg down the embankment to the fawn and i did manage to get a good grip on her several times and picked her up, but she managed to break free each time.  i was using my best soothing baby voice with her – i am a mom you know.  she did calm down once and i sat there cooing at her, while rubbing her flank but i think an oncoming car spooked her and i got winged by a flailing hoof and she then found a open space a little farther down the fence, wriggled under it and poof – off she went to freedom.

that night, i noticed some bruises on my left leg.  i didnt think anything of it.  until a couple days later when my bud and i are at the gym and i saw about 5 more very large bruises and a cut on my leg lol.  i looked like i had gotten into a fight with a midget, and the midget won.  chalk this one up to the deer. no good deed goes unpunished.

several weeks ago, as i was leaving pats, i pulled out onto the road and there, right in front of me was a beautiful box turtle in the road.  yup, you guessed it.  i pulled over and picked her up and brought her home to safety (meaning we made a large home for her outside our back door with a pond, lots of ferns and stuff to play with).  now this isnt our first turtle.  my beloved is a turtle freak.  we’ve gone on turtle hunts and when he’s been out for putts he goes turtle hunting.  and once, when he was out on the sporty on a disgustingly hot day, he came home and said guess what i found!

*uh oh i thought*.  what honey?  out he goes, to the black leather saddle bags in what had to be at least 95f heat and brings in a baby turtle. or thats what he thought.  i looked at this poor little thing all limp and said, um honey – you do realize that its a baby snapper dont you?  he brought the limp little baby up to eye level and said no its not.  i looked at it and pointed to the back end of the carapace, pointed out its pointed shell and to the top of its shell and how its shell is intrinsically different from a box turtle and said honey, its a snapper.  why dont you put it under some water, the poor things about limp as can be, its been in your saddlebag in this heat for how long?

he put the faucet on, put the poor little thing under the water and immediately that little babe woke up and went SNAP right at his finger. i laughed and said – see! i know what of i speak!  and thats how we came to have snappy, our snapping turtle.  we built a pen for him with a pond (do you see a pattern forming here?) which we stocked with gold fish and lots of things for him to play with.  he was fine for several weeks and then one night he disappeared.  we figured that either a) he climbed the fence and had an escape (ive heard that snappers can climb) or b) he was stolen.  no good deed….

but back to our box turtle – she was so pretty.  and i learned a few things about turtles i didnt know – like they burrow during winter!  one morning i went out to check on her and found her burrowed in the corner, under some dirt and beneath one of my hostas!  cool stuff!  i made sure she had plenty of water and food that she would eat (i googled turtles) and made sure she had plenty of room and rocks to climb on.  but i began to notice that she would climb up on a rock and stick her head out as far as she could, trying to look over the wall.  it began to bother me.  a lot.  so i brought it to the attention of my beloved and he said it was starting to bother him as well.  the next morning when i got up and went out to check on boxie, she was already up and looking like she was trying to climb out of her pen.  that was it, i couldnt take it anymore.  i reached down, picked up boxie and said i’m letting you go sweetie.  i cant take seeing you like this.  so i climbed down the hill out back part ways down to the stream and let her go where she could be free and near water but away from the road.  i felt much better.

so my bud and i are at the bar enjoying a nice glass of ice-water after the gym.  i dont know about you, but when im done exercising, im in desperate need of water.  ice cold water.  and sometimes sustenance.  the musics playing and when its playing i cant hear well.  ok, i cant hear well to begin with.  this chick i know from the bar, but really dont know well at all is upset and from what i gathered (again, i cant hear well…) needed a ride. i looked at my bud and she nodded, so i picked up my purse and said lets roll.

this is the last time i will ever do this.

the story i heard will not ever be repeated but i gave her a ride to her house and back to the bar, was promised gas money (never received but its no biggie) and when we got back to the bar she met her friend in the lot and i guess off they went cause she didnt follow me back in the bar. i looked at my bud and said never let me do that again.  she said you want a shot?  YES.  ash poured me a snakebite, which i immediately tossed back (with everyone in the bar watching) then refilled it, tossed it back, refilled it again, tossed it back, then did it again.  i told my bud, never let me do that again and she asked what happened – she said everyone here said i shouldnt have let you go.  i told her i took her to her house and back. which pissed off my bud as she was told i was taking her to her docs and i could have been in the  middle of a very.bad.situation.  and when she told me what everyone there said, she told them well – why didnt you stop her, you know jennys a nice person!!!!!  morons.

no good deed….

im still trying to figure out what i’ve done to deserve to have had 3 people in 3 weeks pull out right in front of me.  yesterday it was an amish buggy.  i really dont think the chick driving the buggy had any business driving the buggy or the horse just wasnt trained right cause she pulled out in front of us and the oncoming car was closer to the side street than we were and i bet his face was more shocked than ours was.  all i said was, in my best richard lewis: REALLY??  i told my beloved what happened and he said – be careful – this is the third time, you’re being told something.  i said, in my best three chord george: i know.  my morning commute is early early morning and i love it.  my ride home however is a different story – early afternoon and right now, its tourist season.  sigh.  once summers gone, my ride will be much more pleasant.  sunday’s however will always be sunday go to meeting day on 340.  negotiating buggies can sometimes be a chore especially when there is one coming and going lol.

no good deed….