i told you she’s picking me up in a chauffered bently pop


lmsao gentle readers, yes, that was really said in my household as a teen.  my dearest friend kimmy came from serious money and the first time she came up, we may have been going to a dead show, maybe not but she was coming in her famililies chauffered bently. i told my dad and i got the usual yeah sure, right. he never believed me lol. i told him pop, seriously a chauffered bent.  uh huh honey, im sure she will.  and when that bent showed up my pops jaw hit the floor.  the chauffer came out and opened the door for me, i said see ya pop, with an evil grin on my face to the stark amazement on his face, got in and off we went.  the dead show came later now that i think of it and that was a riot in and of itself lmsao.  picture me gentle readers crashed out on the stairs up to the spectrum blowing doobs, wasted as can be, and the bent shows up and kimmy rolls out drunk as a skunk.  good times good times lol. every dead event was a great time!

im still suffering from teh head cold from hell.  dizzy, lightheaded and weak as hell. id like to know who gave this to me so i can beat them half to death. the bronchitis was bad enough, like i really needed this?  im not hungry at all but i know i need something to eat and cereal is just not cutting it. dont got no bakey so thats out. guess i’ll try a ham and cheese omelette. blech.  fevers going up again too.  double blech.  ive been up since 1 am and im about sick of this non sleeping gig ive got going on. im an insomniac to begin with and heavily medicated for everyones protection and so i can sleep so when this happens it pisses me off royally. its been three days in a roll and the donald is back and our week fo peace is gone. it was so quiet when he was gone and now i hear the thud thud squeek squeek squeek of his heavy foot steps at all hours of the night, he is one of gods special people but that dont mean shit to me, squeek squeek squeek of his heavy foot steps usually starting when we go to bed.  at 4am i hollered GO TO SLEEP DON, ITS BED TIME QUIT WALKING AROUND AND KEEPING US AWAKE and he got quiet for a little bit. he got loud again and i hollered it again and he’s been quiet ever since,  i was outside at 1am and sho nuff, his light was on.  sonofabitch.  that bastard keeps us up all freaking night and already has 2 strikes against him and i dont want to be the one who have him kicked out considering a friend of mine is very interested in the apartment come august when don is rumored to be moving out YEAH!!!  the question remains is can i tolerate donald that long.  ive already gotten my invisible shotgun out and followed hims as he lurches across the apartment saying he is right about here BANG!!!.

but that enough of my nutcase neighbor getting tired as it is, its been a long night. and on that not, i think i will bid you a fond adieux my gentle readers  i cant thank you for enough.  it means the world to me!

and on that note i bid you a fond adieu gentle readers!



bronchitis thou art a heartless bitch


and yes gentle readers, that heartless bitch got me good.  my fever goes from 102 to 100 to 102 and back. it just wont break.  coughing hurts terribly and i think a lung may make its grand appearance soon and the sneezes – oh the sneezes. i can stop some of them but the ones i cant stop, i think my sinus’s will explode lol.  illness and i do not get along well and fortunately im good at describing them picturesquely .  hey, if i have to suffer, so do you my gentle readers. HA!

i started getting sick about last wednesday i think and by friday i knew i was screwed, and screwed hard.  i shouldnt have been working in a food environment and i told my back up that i AM NOT handling food and he’s going to do his job or im going to kill him. thank God he listened. i really didnt want to have to kill him. i wouldnt have had back up had i killed him lol.  but i also got to teach him the way of jenny with regards to the coffee pots and how to run them properly. and he listened.  good kid. do NOT mess with my coffee system. it works and it works well. now i have to break the rest of them of their bad habits….

but i left a half hour early – i hit the wall. i was close to passing out, my fever was on the rise and i was getting dizzy.  when you have a 40 minute drive to work/home, you really need to be on your best game and i wasnt.  thankfully i made it home safe and passed out on the couch in my jammies and several blankies. i still couldnt get warm and i cranked up the heater. screw the electric bill. i was cold.  so eventually tom gets home and i tell him he’s got to call me off work tomorrow as its patently obvious that i can not work. if you could see me and hear me – you wouldnt want me at work either. hell, i cant even stand up straight!  he was sweet about it rather than being a dick and called me out.  im even considering calling out tomorrow and going to the doc. cant really afford it, but im to the point now that i need cough syrup, something to break up the ick inside the lungs, something for swollen tonsils, snuffly nose/sinus’s and something to kill me as bronchitis, thou art a heartless bitch. and a doctors note.  i havent been this sick in a very long time.  i figured once the gruesome twosome grew up and left for college, the germs would be few and far between – and i was correct in that assumption, but what i didnt consider was that my immune system would weaken due to them being gone so while i wouldnt get sick often, when i do get sick i go down hard.  thanks kids.  dont worry, i’ll get even.

so i sit here now, sunday morning wishing for death. or a cough medicine that will make me forget im sick 😉 and stop the coughs and pain. the tussin i have doesnt cut it and its basically the same as delsym.(?)  that was the only med that stopped my sons coughs. or was it the one that starts with ‘m’.  i cant remember – but its not working and thats all that matters. and im cold again and thats telling me that its time to sign off.

so my gentle readers, hydrate, hydrate, hydrate, eat vitamin C like its going out of style, drink ginseng and echinesea (sp) tea and lots of it and try that zinc med thats supposed to stop a cold quick. dont know what all of that will do for bronichitis, that heartless bitch, but i’d really hate to see any of you get sick and wishing for death like i am lol.

and on that note, i bid you a sick but fond adieu….

socially unattractive

the silicon switch inside her head

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gets switched to over load gentle readers. and no, that does not mean im going to go postal on a clock tower with a high powered sniper rifle, it means right now im getting a helluva headache and that particular lyric is on high rotation.  holy crap – there is nothing like this particular pain – its a stabbing pain between the eyebrows but hitting right behind the top of my left eye.  thats not mentioning the dull ache in the back of my head and temples.  it literally felt like a switch was flipped in my head, it hit me out of nowhere.

ive got the drapes pulled closed as when this happenes, darkeness is perferable as light is like a light saber to the bwain. stabbing pain thru the eyes and i have my shades on over my glasses.  i have no idea what i have done to instigate this one.  as im am out of my painkiller, im going to fake it till i make it with tylenol migraine. i hate tylenol but since excedrine has been pulled from the shelves, you  do what you gotta do.

and a good morning to you gentle readers.  i managed with a little help from my friends to sleep most of  that damn headache off, get most of my chores done and get the pezzinator all cleans up.  and he is now sitting over there (points to the left) looking at me with that quizzical look and leaning just a little to the left that says c’mon mom, let me out!  but no fuzz, you’re still damp and i dont want him to get dirty again.  he’s almost completely white again cept for the slightly tan spots on his butt lol. oh dear Lord, one answer was “chill with God” on family feud’s question what would you do when you go to heaven.  and no, that was not the first answer.  number 1 was sleep.  number 6 i think, was “boink”. yes gentle readers, that was the exact answer, 4 people think they would “boink” when they get to heaven.  and i am sitting here with my head in one hand wondering what on glods green earth do people think anymore.  but who am i to wonder why.

so i get a text from my ex this morning.  his mom, my ex mother in law but more importantly, my aunt janet, has been given 3 to 6 months and is expected to be sent home to hospice.   he told me out of respect and i was actually surprised by that (im the black sheep of that side of the family, married to the golden child and everything was my fault, he could do no wrong but everything was actually his fault, he lied like a rug, he stole money from me and others, destroyed some treasured gifts my sister sent me for christmas but thats not important now but it felt good to say it).  i asked him if i would be welcome/allowed at the hospice as she is my aunt janet and i’ve loved her about all my life.  he said he’d get back to me, he was at work.  i would truly hope that side of the family can put their issues with me aside and remember that i love her just as much and am just as affected.  this is a large part of my life that is going away.  after that will be aunt jean, and i expect that to be not long after, they have been best friends all my life. its been aunt jean and aunt janet. forever.  but somehow i really doubt they will do that. same with my kids.  learning how to forgive and let go is not something they are  gifted with. any of them.  it took me a while to realize that forgiveness benefits me and allows me to move forward.

that particular friendship had been dead on my end for quite some time but because of my husband, i maintained it until the bitter end.  and i still dont know what i did. but whatever it was, and im sure it was bad, im glad. very very glad. forgiving her allowed me to move forward and allows me to recall our friendship fondly and with smiles.  cause we did have a whole lotta fun! 😀   i will always love my pal al. i just dont have to have her in my life anymore.  and that is when i realized that forgiveness is for me – not them.  the pain of the betrayal (that i had always suspected) was finally lifted.  how she can maintain a friendship with my daughter is beyond me lol but thats pal and i wouldnt have her any other way. *grinning*

same with my stalker.  we were friends.  now i honestly believe she has no idea what friendship is truly about. cause if you do, you dont stab a friend in the back over absolutely nothing then purchase personal and confidential info on them and publish it on a public blog (and send invites to hundreds) and spend years trying to humiliate me online (didnt work, im still allowed on the site, she’s permantly banned).  ive been able to marginalize her for the most part, i have very good contacts, but when she threatened my husband and kids, a few times, my gloves came off.  hence me protecting Socially Unattractive.  i truly believe she has serious mental issues, enough to make me look like a saint, and enough that i believe she desperatly needs to be committed. to publicaly threaten my husband and kids – people she doesnt know?  really??  just not a wise idea.  not a wise idea at all.  for all that im a rather easy going Jesus lovin deadhead, do not EVER threaten my family. its just not a wise idea.  but even so, i will always care for her, despite how badly she fucked up the friendship. ive forgiven her.  doesnt mean i wont take care of business when i have to, but i do forgive her.  because i truly believe she knows not what she does.  she maintains friendships with 2 other people solely because they are terrified that what she did to me, she will do to them if they attempt to break off the relationship.  ladies – quadeloupe, vanessa (dolly and sassy) – just do it, and get it over with.  that way, she will be totally marginalized on delphi with only insanejane for company.  what more could you possibly ask for??  she is the most hated poster on the boards as everyone knows.

and on that note, ive been wandering thru the wayback machine from hell. seeing names i hadnt thought of in years didnt do me a whole helluva lot of good.  depressed the hell out of me which pissed me off because why should it depress me again and that pissed me off too. that i got depressed, again and pissed off.  i thought i had all that pain dead and buried and guess what – i was WRONG. deathly wrong.  wounds i thought had healed (yeah, right) opened back up.  luckily i saw my shrink pretty close to it but still – its like a spector haunting me.  glod i hated those people and the damage they did to me.  i never would have thought i would ever see them again much less think all that hurt would resurface. i was wrong.  again.  where’s my vodka????

sigh. i really have no song to leave you with. perhaps dylans positively 4th street? hmmm.  yeah, i think i”l go with that – it fits. for the most part.

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