just a song before i go a lesson to be learned travelling twice the speed of sound its easy to get burned


yes gentle readers, im swinging downward and im really hoping i don’t crash and burn. that really sucks.  but more than that, i just found that this tune by csny just fit my mood and some issues that happened recently very well.  the incidents i shall not speak about albeit to say there are some harsh lessons to be learned and to have to live with regret will haunt them for years.  that makes me sad.

christ on a bicycle who cares about jerry sandusky. he’s going to die in jail. as it should be. changing the channel. ive got an episode of bridezillas to watch. i know, i know – but its amusing!  i just don’t understand how people go on these shows (read jersey shore – honey boo boo) and then look at their families in the face. what on glods green earth has become of this generation?  especially honey boo boo – a show i will NOT watch. that just gives that type of programming/family raising attention. negative attention to be specific. besides when i look at honey boo boo and wonder how the hell she gets crowned is beyond me, and when i look at her family i get the creeps. *shuddering* eeewwww.

hmm lets take a short walk in the wayback machine and review the weekend.  ahh what a fucking cold weekend it was and my friends patti, kim and i were at the delaware valley abate’s party the fall down ball.  had the weather been nicer (lets talk cold and WINDY) and it been held in oh say august lol there would have been a bigger attendance.  but it was what it was and it was a whole lot of fun.  pat, kim and i were there as vendors as kim is the owner/artist of Thoughts 2 Reality Sterling Silver Jewelry.  im now in the midst of creating a blog for her in order for her to get a presence online and sell her jewelry. it truly is lovely, she gave me a gorgeous silver and lapis pair of earrings – i’ve been wanting lapis for a very long time.  im saving my money to buy one of her slave bracelets (freakin gorgeous!!) as a dear friend of mine had a very bad accident (he fell off a porch with a desk), broke femur in 3 places, crushed wrist and broke his hand among ribs etc.  my friends are holding a fundraiser and raffle to raise money for him – he wont be going back to work for quite some time. it breaks my heart. i adore him to no end.  if there is anyone else out there who believes in paying it forward and would like to contribute, email me thru my about tab and i will give you the contact info.  but back to the fucking cold party (is anyone seeing a pattern here?) free food, free beer/drinks bike games and a very good band Storm.  i take my music seriously and when i say very good,i mean they WERE very good.  lol the delaware dominant was there and two of their proby’s were hawking for donations for a brother who recently passed away and had 4 daughters.  i followed them up to a tent up at the top of the hill and waited till they were done and approached them with a) honey, pull your damn pants up! (i HATE that lol) and b) i only have $10. how much is the moonshine, it would be $10 for jenny right? and i winked at the one proby and we all had a good laugh.  i gave them the tenspot and turned away and they said but what would you like?  um, nothing.  your brother went down and he had 4 daughters – that’s enough for me.  but you have to take something – how about a shirt? (now im thinking of the pa dom – my “family”, they’re the same but i will not wear anything that may upset them) and i just said no, its ok, i don’t need anything. and the tall one with the perpetually low jeans said how about a hat?  i said ok if you keep your damn jeans up! lol.  here’s my shout out to um never mind. i have a truly disturbed stalker and i don’t want anything to happen to her if she tries to get involved with more revenge against me.  huh would you believe she’s been at it for four years now?

we started packing up around dark, cold and dark lol and had a bitch of a time pulling the tent up and getting it to collapse properly.  thank you delval abate again for the help lol.  stupid little button just wouldn’t push so we could collapse it.  off we go, kim made her money back and then some – we’re working on her to understand that its going to take a while for her to make back all she made the week before and she already had a nice nest egg of jewelry to sell. but this was a great learning experience for all of us with regards to setting up a booth, how to do it in the wind (sheepish glance) and how much to bring.  i got home late naturally, it was dark and cold after all. told my beloved how the day went (he didn’t notice my 1%r hat for a while lol) and boy was i tired. oh boy was i tired. so off i went to put the electric blankey on the bed, turned it on high and get my jammies on cause goin to bed was happening very soon. it must have been soon cause i have very little memory of the rest of the night lol,.  but i need to make a huge thank you shout out to donna – if not for her, we never would have found it.  thank you donna , its been much too long.  i love you, ((((((donna)))))))

ahhh sunday.  Sundays are always good. start the morning off with church services ( i loves me some dr charles stanley – he makes me think, and feel loved by God). i think i even woke up in time for one of them, in touch (dr stanleys show).  most times im on my puter but listening to the service, but sunday – i put the puter down. for all our services. i needed to hear them. and then the bone-chill made itself present. remember, it was COLD AND WINDY saturday. i stayed in my jammies all day wrapped up in a blankey but the headache started, the bone aches started – i was not feeling well.  bayer migraine, advil, i love you. and that’s not forgetting xanax. it helps me relax when i get upset.  and richard, if you are still getting this, much less reading it – please tell alix im not in it for the drugs. xanax is the only med i take that could be construed as a *drug* and i take it as little as possible.  then tell her fuck you alix. you were wrong and your insistence to know everything about my treatment was out of line. then again there isnt a line she hasnt crossed lol. or at least said hello to lol.  or screwed or snorted lmsao.  but asides from that lol, i then proceeded to spend all day wrapped in my jammies, robe and blankey on the couch alternating from nap, to watching whatever good was on, to nap and you get the picture.  money was just as bad sans the terrible head ache and the body aches were taken care of with advil but i just was not going anywhere. but to sleep lol.

now ive made a couple of references to my stalker. i have reason to believe she is on the prowl again.  this time she not only admitted to trying to get a friend of mine fired from her job, she flat-out admitted she’s having my friends daughters work computer ghosted every night and audited.  those are illegal offences, can we say hacking?? – does this sound like a sane mind?  then i come to find someone called the police at my sons college claiming to be me.  im in touch with the campus police, so i can get the date, the recording of the call and the phone number.  suzanne arundale, i truly believe that was you and if you DIDNT think all that information and call wasnt recorded well you truly are dumber than whaleshit.  when i have the information, i. will. destroy. your. world.  you were warned before not to interfere with my children, specifically in the response to your silly email not to delete crap – which i forwarded to one of the DA’s of Rhode Island, who is your cousin. i think it was about then you disappeared from delphi which you are lifetime banned from, but that never stops you. i was then very amused to find out you were legally proven sane.  not for long.  if you are truly stupid enough to go after my daughter…  but enough of the dumb cunt. she doesn’t deserve even this much time.

did i mention its getting cold out?  and that i hate the cold?  get used to it gentle readers lol. cause i hate the cold. living in the philly burbs (far western burbs by lancaster) means we get cold every winter.  rumour has it that we’re going to get hammered like we did several years ago with snow. you have been warned gentle readers it might get ugly for the next couple of months.  i have to stock up on vodka and cranberry, capn’ morgans and hmm its a toss-up between my beloved yukon jack and tellamore dew.  smoooooooth.  if its going to be snowy like they said, so long as i have my booze, im cool. don’t need to worry bout food, the iga is next door lmsao.  all those windowlickers who flock to the stores at the very mention of a snowflake wont beat me there this time lol.

ahhh gentle readers. this is one of the things i like about writing. it makes the unhappies go away. or it shuts the voices down a bit.  but it also makes me sad to know that there are some people out there who have some very hard lessons to learn and that they will have to live with regret, i find unhappy. it happens, but there are some forms of regret that live with you forever and wake you up in the middle of the night saying oh man what have i done?  but sometimes that comes far too late to make nice, to say i was wrong im sorry, to love again, to make amends. and a sad note, my ex lives with that, if he allowed himself to realize that it was not all my fault and he seriously fucked up. it’s not even half my fault or a quarter. and he never once said im sorry i hurt you jen. and on that note…

just a song before i go to whom it may concern, travelling twice the speed of sound its easy to get burned.

and it’s because of bryan that i hate, utterly hate the song life in the fast lane.

ok thats it i yield

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to you, old man winter.  gentle readers, this has been a winter from hell. not as bad as it was last year with 2 foot of snow every week for 3 weeks, but we’ve had shitloads of ice and today, as i put the heinous hounds out when i got up i opened the door and went oh, nice, snow.  didnt think anything of it.

so my morning goes as it usually does, i mainline my coffee (wawa’s columbian and dark roast mixed together – heavenly) take care of what little needs to be done so i can get my ass up and ready to go do my circuit training.  i truly enjoy circuit training exercising – it feels good inside and allows me to work out some of the rage i feel inside. specially when im doing squats  hence the refrain:  i hate you, i hate you, i hate you.  30 second of squats will hurt you.  carol the owner was laughing at me as i was doing them, she told me she used to say much the same.  i told her that when i was kickboxing, my mantra was dave i hate you, dave i hate you lol.  i would so love to get back into kickboxing along with circuit training.  i loved kickboxing for the exercise it gave me, but also for the ability to defend myself – and i can put a hurtin on someone if need be.

but the results im getting from the circuit training are impressive, cept for the usual holiday poundage  and a kickass fundraiser we had for some friends of ours who are in need.  it was basically a last minute we need to do this gig and we pulled it off with around 10 bands, a crap load of food (i made my world famous potato salad – 10lbs of it lol and there was only a bowl full when we cleaned up lol) and conning money out of everyone we could and never let it be said that there are some people you cant get money from.  my boy’s were told to give till it hurts nad i danced in front of them harassing them till they cracked open their wallets.  i dont care that you paid at the door, your giving till it hurts.  they gave, got a kiss and a hug and  i moved on to the next victim lol.  and i’ll be damned if my girl was there – sharon – i love ya sis!!!!  we sold tix for door prizes- lots of them and all of them were extremely nice, several tattoo’s, a couple piercing’s and a lot of neat stuff.  its what you do for your friends.  and if you dont, man you got something wrong with you.

but back to the snow.  i hate you now. i hate having to dig out the end of my driveway where the ever so polite plowers plow IN my driveway.  thats a good foot of hardpack snow.  lovely.  i dug a path to toms truck and broomed all the snow off it.  i dug a path to the shed and then a path for the inevitable river williams that comes with the meltdown and rain we get in april.  and march sometimes.  think of a river 6 foot across and around 6 inches deep.  you have to jump from the bottom step to make it to dry land.  but on a good note, the plowers actually plowed 2 full lanes instead of the usual 1.5.  amazing.  and it was fun watching the heinous hounds turn into snow dogs. pez rolls around in the snow, kilo noses down and throws it in the air.  i know they wish they were near me so i could throw snow on them but with ki being a runner, he has to stay on his lead and i dont particularly trust the pez NOT to try and chase a car.

i need to get a digital camera. i think i’ll do that soon so i can take pics of the things that amuse me and share them with you all. my life has changed dramatically from what i once was and now i can have fun. take pics.  scare the shit out of tom (need a pic for that).   then there is always the fun of pissing off a bunch of women who wish they lunched at delphi.  liberal ladies just cant handle the truth lmsao.  its like they’re allergic to the truth and facts and the name calling etc begins.  its almost too easy to piss them off.  but its still fun.  but their forum is actually a very good forum in some aspects – they truly care about each other (if your on the in group), they fully totally and completely support autism research (DAMN GOOD THING) and sometimes, they’re just funny as hell. i like to read there for the amusement factor.

huh. i have no song to leave you with. i was listening to phil collins i dont care anymore because, i dont care anymore about the snow!!!!  i cant take much more of it.  spring better get here soon or im going boomtown rats on someone.  i.hate.the.cold.  i wanna move south. i wanna move to the carribean where the people are excellent, the food fantastic and the smoke – remarkable.  but im thinking aruba as its rarely hurricane hit.  now to talk tom into it.  gonna take a while.

i am exceedingly proud of minime, she’s getting her gun license. naturally before she gets her drivers license……. but i told her that in order to obtain my blessing she needed to do a few things.  a) take a gun safety class where she will learn how to take it apart, clean it and put it back together, b) get a hammerless .38 – that way if need be she can shoot thru her purse with no issues and c)i forgot. lol.  a concealed carry is a must.  im looking into that for myself.    also a 16g and an 18g shotgun. cut down naturally – i’ll shoot you thru the wall if i have too.  id rather be tried by 6 than carried by 2. im not sure if i want a handgun or not.  a 9m is my kinda power.  i want to be able to stop an assailant. and if i have to empty a clip into him to stop him so be it. its me vs him and i will always win.

and my son, of whom i am exceedingly proud of is getting ready for college.  what an amazing kid he is.  we had a wonderful christmas with him that made me so very happy. we were able to talk, really talk and i think we got to clear the air about some things. my kid’s gonna go places. i just hope he learns to use his powers for good lol.

i still cant believe i have no tunes for you. probably because im still cold from the great dig out.  now that i’ve gotten myself back into writing, i feel good inside again so the tunes arent far behind.

and on that note, i shall bid you all a fond adieux gentle readers and hope that all is going well with you all.  i have missed you.


as i sit here

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i slowly close my eyes…protect the ones who hold you, cradling your energy. i need serenity.  good lord gentle readers how i just adore sully. i dont know what it is with little guys but man they do it for me lol.  and sully’s got it goin on.  i was talking  with lips about this – im 6foot and dig shorter men, she;’s 5’3 and digs men my height or taller lol.  its amusing how things work out like that. but i just wanna crawl all over sully lol.  i wouldnt know what to do with a man my height lmsao.

bummer, tunes over.  perhaps i’ll hit reply or choose another godsmack tune as that seems to be the mood im in. i have NO smokes, i am very displeased about that so my music generally reflects my moods. such as they may be from time to time, day to day, and at times minute by minute – ah doobies – gotcha! i actually prefer the doobies pre michael but you get what you get.  but these are the tunes of my youth and they still rock today.

i was sitting here a few minutes ago, freezing my ass off for about 2 hours when it struck me- turn on the heater dumbass lol.  its getting nice and warm in here now. but oh the oil bills….so far we’ve been able to make 200 gallons last 2+months so we normally only get 2 deliveries which in this economy is a very good thing. ive budgeted it in the books and sigh. i knew i was coming.  but perhaps i should have put socks on along with my slippers….   :/

slight intermission while kilo demands my full attention lol.

still waiting (the paw of demand)… and while i was giving kilo my full attention (which he makes sure of by pulling my arm over with his leg to where he wants to be scratched) the pez, our westie with separation anxiety issues came over and wanted loves too.  other than my beloved and my brats, my dogs are my life.  but mommy loves kilo most and he knows it.  right now his head is laying across my left arm.  i think he’s reading what im writing.  i wouldnt put it past him – he does watch tv and the day he annihilated my bible is a day i’ll never forget.  we think he got to Deuteronomy and read something he didn’t like and then methodically ripped each page into thirds.  every page.  thirds.  it was EVERYWHERE.  i have never seen such a mess.

Mommy's baby

aka the heinous hound

But this is my Kilo, mommy’s baby.  He gets so upset when daddy comes home and hugs mommy lol.  growl growl growl and i have to go over to ki and tell him that mommy loves kilo more than daddy, more than minime, more than manchild, more than pez and bones, mommy loves kilo more than anything in the whole wide world.  he gets happy after that lol because he gets his treats.  but you can see what a huge hound we have.  if it was up to him, he would take up the entire sofa. i have to remind him that everyone, including him, gets only one seat per couch.  and then i get the equivelant of the dog raised eyebrow.

please, if it didnt work with my sons blue eyes, do you really think its gonna work with you kilo?? but sadly he’s a runner so i have to put him out on a lead for him to do his business and to just hang outside. he LOVES early spring and fall – he will NOT come in until he feels like it so i leave him out there lol.  pez has developed the same trait – but niether dog likes the heat. at all. period.  they go out, do their thing and are banging on the door in what seems like seconds. and now i can post the pic of ki and the pez, back when the pez was still a little pez lol.

mommy's babies The pez was a little pez when this was taken and the look on ki’s face is priceless.  its as if he is sighing at the intruder on his back lol.  when we initially got the pez, we thought that he would be a companion dog to Kilo.  its the other way around, ki is pez’s dog lol.  but there is no greater life than a life with dogs and i dont trust anyone who doesnt like dogs.

then there are the people who are too stupid to have dogs much less breed.  last week as i was going to get smokes, i see a dog on the side of the hill all caught up in the trees/brush.  i hollered across the road to see if anyone was there – nothing.  so… i go get my smokes and pull right into the driveway.  i pounded on the door – no answer.  i pounded on the next door and was told that the dog belonged to the neighbors and they werent home. i looked at him and just said rescue mission.

so i walk along the fence to where it ended and then climbed behind it moving brush and trees out of my way, hoping to god that this wasnt a biter.  i slid down the hill and made my way to him – lick lick love love is what i got.  i scout out the chain and he’s hooked around a tree.  so i grab his collar hoping he’ll stay put, unhook the chain and yanked it as hard as i could to me and got it right back on.  he started climbing back up and was stuck again.  im scrambling up the hill and see the next tree he was hooked on.  i couldnt move the tree down enough to move the chain over it or break it so grab the collar again i did, unhook the chain and with another heave, get the chain to me still hoping this dog wont make a break for it or bite.  that was it and off he went back around the fence.  im climbing back up to the top of the hill and im hoping again, Lord – please dont let this dog be a biter or protector of property.  the pup was waiting for me still on this side of the fence and as i got close up he jumped nad i got all sorts of loves.  im fairly sure he was a pitbull and i do NOT like pits.  but i gave him lots and lots and lots of loves and made my way out of his chain length.  it didnt occur to me later = what kind of asshole puts a dog on a say 30 foot chain with a 15 foot fence???  and then i thought, why didnt i fix the chain so it didnt happen again?

my good deed for the day done – i was off to enjoy the day. and then in true socially unattractive fashion, you get the post from about 2 days ago that no good deed goes unpunished lol.  i swear that tree jumped right out behind me. and thats all i have to say about that.  other than only me lmsao.

i am still smokeless and im getting antsy. this is not good.  i need godsmack – it puts the antsies away – and i dedicate this to suzanne....better fuckin go away. im doin the best i ever did ((much better than you bitch) better fucking go away), im doing the best that i can (better fucking go away), im doing the best i ever did now go away!!  it so fits her – and my mood cause i dont have smokes and suzanne….   i wanna kill, i wanna see blood n gore n guts, veins in my teeth,beat dead burnt bodies, KILL! God bless Arlo Guthrie.  I have been lucky enough to see him several times in concert, but i ‘ve never seen him to Alice.  I HAVE seen the story of the pickle though.  This is a must see please video.  Its the motorcycle song (story of my life) but here he explains the significance of the pickle.  and as im sitting here listening to this vid, it just brings back so many wonderful and fun memories.  i turned on all my friends to arlo – and within a week i guess we had that entire song down pat. oh ricks room.  the soundtrack to my life.

why cant i reach into a pocket and find a fivespot?  im not kidding here gentle readers, i am a starving writer and any donations to the cause of being socially unattractive would be appreciated.  then i can get a better cellfone that takes better pics and video and can then post all the wonderful and embarrassing things that go on around me. i could show you telegraph road which, during peak fall season is so pretty it takes my breath away -= and then during that first quasi heavy snow – it literally glitters over and around you. i so wish i could share all this with you.  but we’ve just past all hallows with no issues and now its going to start getting cold. sigh.  i dont like the cold.

hmm i want chicken quesadilla’s (or however thats spellled lol).  now thats a helluva way to end a blog lol.  have an excellent day and dont forget – be socially unattractive!!   its ever so much fun <sseg>


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