lifes the same i’m moving in stereo lifes the same except for my shoes

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lifes the same, your shakin like tremolo, lifes the same, its all inside you….. hey, wait a minute, whats that about my shoes???  yo, i like my shoes, especially my 3 inch spiked sandals. thems some smokin shoes!  damn near all my shoes are 3 inch spikes which, when i think about it is kind of funny cause im six foot tall.  for years i wore nothing but flats, until i met my beloved and he LOVES my height so it stands to reason that he loves it when i put my knock me down and fuck me heels on <seg>.  but in thinkin about it, not all my shoes are spikes, my riding boots arent (and i have to hide them from the heinous hound, who ate the heels off them once upon a time) and my tye dye sneaks are, naturally, not heels lol.  it does stand to reason you know…

but yes, you read right, we moved!  YIPPEE!! (make sure you update your records/ignorant blog suzanne, so i can add that to my federal stalking/harassment complaint, and to your parents…).  it was time.  we didn’t need all that room with the gruesome twosome grown and off to college. but oh the moving woes. oh the woes. boxing everything in the house, deciding what to keep and what to get rid of.   finding boxes.  bubble wrap for my lead crystal that was my moms and the Wedgwood china that was my dads and the assorted fine crystal/china i have.  boxes. did i mention that? oh dear lord the pit of despair – the bog of eternal stench. sigh. the bubble wrap. fighting with my boss for the boxes as he was moving as well! (i would sneak boxes out when he wasn’t looking… the never ending decisions of do we want this?  holy shit my beloved is listening to malt shop tunes. kill.me.now.  it truly amazed me the amount of crap you accumulate in all those years of living there.  i had already gone thru all the years of my kids school work and kept all the really righteous stuff they both had brought home so that was something not necessary to do. that box was clearly labeled KEEP!!!

the decision to move wasn’t solely based on the gruesome twosome’s flying away from home.  we really didn’t need all that space, its true, but we were really sick and tired of living in the woods and being terrified of the next limb that was going to come down thru the roof.  so far, we had 2 large limbs come thru the roof and one almost killed my beloved and that was during hurricane irene (suzanne, when you claim on delphi that this happened to your boyfriend, make sure you get it right – seriously everyone, my stalker has a fantasy life based not only on my life but several others as well. apparently her life is meaningless (i was told THAT by an ex-husband of hers…).  i had to work that day so i slalomed my way down 340 in sideways blown winds (man that was fun lol) and i have never seen so many dejected people outside of the neil young concert during the blizard of 83!  i called my beloved to let him know im there safe so he doesn’t worry.  i get a call a couple of hours later, he was just shy of out of his mind, he had gotten up when i called him and went to lay down on the couch. CRASH – a 15 foot limb came thru the roof about 6 inches from where he had been laying… suffice it to say i was outta there and on my way home.

but back to moving…. we looked and we looked and we blew the house down. no wait, thats a story for another day. but wherever we went, they had to take pets cause i wont live where my furry kids aren’t welcome.  so we ended up just free searching, cause the online listings sucked.  whats free searching you ask?  its just looking wherever you happen to be driving at the time.  kinda like they do on aw crap. i’ve forgotten the name of the show. um… the auction hunters? or the guys who just drive around looking for places to buy neat stuff cheap and then they resell it.  love me that show. whatever the hell that show is called but its premise is what we did to find our place.  we just looked at signs and called places.  how can you go wrong?  oh thats a helluva loaded question as you CAN go wrong, as we found out. this one place we looked at was so horrifically, disgustingly inconceivably wrong i still don’t know the place can be fit much less certified livable by the housing commission.  my beloved and i we so skeeved by it that we went straight to the bar when we were out of there.  i still shudder when i pass by it.

but we found this one place we really liked. it looked like it would be a nice intimate place for the two of us, and if they took pets, there would be plenty of space for them and it was location location location! i got the number as we drove by and called them up as we went movin right along down the road.  sho nuff, the place would be available in a few months (we were ok with that) and would we like to take a tour? we definitely would love too, but most importantly, do they take dogs? indeed they did and we set up the appointment for the next day.  we took the walk thru (and was amazed by the clutter of the current tenant – and i thought i was a slob – yikes!!!) set up our deposit and bided (boded?) our time. and started thinking about boxes… did i mention we needed boxes?  boxes are good when you are moving.

now one of the funnier, well, not things about moving were the dogs. my poor things had some separation anxiety.  ok, serious separation anxiety.  they know when they see boxes, somebody is going away.  the last time it was minime going off to college.   so on that note, i would like to refer you to allie;  from hyperbole and a half’s post dogs dont understand basic concepts like moving because they truly dont. while my heinous hounds arent quite as “special” as allies they did have quite the cow when they watched everything get boxed up all month.  then when the time came and my beloved and i left to sign the papers, my poor babies just went apenuts. i was dropped back off at our place with the first load to start unpacking and to wait for the tv guy and i told my other half PLEASE bring the dogs over now, they need it. but did he? sigh. no. so the hounds were literally going out of their little minds every time he went back for another load and left them there. finally i had to put my foot down and told him BRING THE FUCKING DOGS WITH THE NEXT LOAD OR ELSE….. he brought the dogs with the next load. smart move. so we spent some time playing with the dogs (ie getting lots of loves) and getting them introduced to our new home and taking them out back to familiarize them with the new diggs.  it took them a couple of days however to start to relax.  well truly relax. i think the pez constipated himself and kilo got the runs.  welcome to my hell. but they are adjusting well to the new run we have for them out back and the dogs on the other side of the fence.  they’ve done the equivalent of sniffing each others butts through the fence with no aggressiveness at all, which made us very happy. ok made me happy.

so i think that will end moving in stereo’s chapter one (i decided i would break up my moving woe/adjustment) into two and quite possibly three posts cause im already at 1300 words lol. holy shit 1300+ words? damn it was a long move.

so my gentle readers, i will leave you with this, so i can go outside and smoke, that i will follow up in the next post… hope the vid comes thru…

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ok i finally did it, im putting myself out there and its scaring the shit out of me!

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yes gentle readers. you read right. i am now wandering the halls of wordpress, finding really neat forums (cooking nomnomnom) some humorous (but are they well, deranged like me – thats the real kicker), some both – cooking and funny as hell and well, i think its time to take my blog away from the few friends i have who read this (sometimes my daughter actually reads it – thanks brat), the friends my stalker has monitoring it for her (i think she’s in intensive psychiatric counseling, and its about fucking time.  nope i was wrong, she’s still on delphi 24/7, her santababy11 nic was outted and she’s now posting as stargazer661, and she thinks nobody knows its her the moron) and put it in the public eye.

and its scaring the shit out of me.

seriously.  it really is.  writing, knowing (what the hell was that sound? it sounded like fairy music jingling – hmmm) that there are now people who might actually read my blog and *gasp* like it scares the shit out of me.  cause im not just socially unattractive, i also post about the shit that goes on in the graymatter – ok so i am socially unattractive lol.  im bipolar – psycho on a good day and heavily medicated for your protection on a daily basis and my sense of humor has several different levels some of which will offend everyone and i dont give a fuck lol.

but what i want to know is how does this freshly pressed gig work?  is that something where you press the wordpress button on the bottom of a post?  how does one become freshly pressed? is it an award?  granted that’s where im  finding the blogs im liking – the humor ones are harder to find, not many people seem to have my sense of humor. dark, snarky, at times malicious, self deprecating, making fun of others and life you know, demented.  cause like my about tab says – ive had a very privileged life and a shitload of stories to tell.  but due to the life i’ve lead, i find it hard to remember them sometimes <seg>.  i am what i am and i will not apologize for it i had a crapload of fun getting here! *evil chortle*

but still, i am nervous about putting myself out there in front of all of you. but i figure, ive been at this for oh, around 2 years now, so why not?  i’m going to figure out how to put pics up here – in and around the text, as well as embedding vids (i hate it when they open in a new tab) and please someone, tell me how the hell i can get the “like” tab and all the posters who like my blog to show up. thats got me screwed 3 ways to nowhere and back.  i also want to segregate my posts like i’ve seen other blogs do.  i think i want a biker thread, a life thread, a mockery thread – something that will give some order to a disorderly mind.  mebbe not though. but mebbe so. i dunno.

but one thing about the next couple of weeks is i’ll be busy and not able to get here as much as i’d like. we’re moving. and i cant fucking wait. its just the packing thats making my neck and arm ache like hell (bulging discs).  i still dont know how we managed to accumulate so much crap in the last 8 years….  but before i start that today, im taking a nap.  its sadly my day off and tomorrow is too so why not? its not like i have anything pressing right now lol. the boxes will still be there when i wake up…

but i would like to thank you my new readers and hopefully soon to be new readers for giving me a chance.  socially unattractive is/was/will be cathartic for me at times, and a helluva lot of fun the rest and lets enjoy the ride together!

are stop signs with white lines around them optional?

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this is a question i have pondered for years, almost 47 (chronological if you must know) years to be exact, but in real people years, oh say 30ish when my old best friend ick got his drivers licence <seg>.  i remember a bunch of us driving around and someone, maybe me, telling him yo ick, didnt you know, stop signs with white lines around them are optional?  no way!  yes way – lets ride!

it was about oh say 6 or 7 stop signs blown off when he realized that every stop sign has that ubiquitous white line around them and he got pissed!  what would have happened if i got stopped for blowing off a stop sign.  i told him dude – the cop would have laughed at you for being so stupid for listening to us and we would have paid your fine!  fast forward to a few years ago when i was teaching my son to drive. oh sweet jesus.  boy is a good driver, but having him turn into the local turkey hill convenience store from rt 322 at mach 10 when the lot was FULL was a white knuckle experience for me and im hollering (quietly) boy slow down, boy slow the fuck down please!  when i mean this particular lot was full is an understatement. there were lines at the gas pump, every space in front of the store were full and trucks were parked on the side of the lot.  yes, my knuckles were white and my panic level was on overdrive.  but i quietly reminded him, after my breathing returned to something back to normal was that you never ever pull into a convenience store at mach 10.  we still laugh at that!

but i also passed on the advice of years gone by – manchild, stop signs with white lines around them are optional honey.  m’boy is a little wiser than we were back as teenagers (ok, we were wasted lol) and it took him only 3 stop signs before he said, suspiciously, mom, EVERY STOP SIGN HAS A WHITE LINE AROUND IT!  i told him you’re a good kid and very observant and then told him the story of days gone by.  he said ya’ll were pretty damn dumb werent you?  busted.

but here i am, all those years gone by and i wonder. are stop signs with white lines really optional?  i leave for work at dark thirty.  there’s no one on the road when i split for work (which is absolutely wonderful, i HATE rush hour, i HATE people). im actually going west rather than east and am driving down one of the prettiest roads ive ever been blessed to drive/ride down (boy i miss our bike). but when i leave home at dark thirty, i have a stop sign at the end of our road.  aint no one around – dare i stop for the required count to 3 or just look both ways as im approaching the sign and ease on down, ease on down the road?   i say required count to three as the *snort* boys in blue (bad cop no donut) will nail you for a california stop if you do not come to a complete stop.  trust me, they got my beloved and i one time right after i told him come to a complete stop honey. did he listen? no. dumbass.  but the cop let us go as we were on a new home hunt.  more on that horrific episode later – shuddering with the ickies -= man that was gross.

perhaps i should have titled this entry as fun with driving or episodes with driving or bad drivers.  i have one ok, several bad driving stories that are just too funny (to me).  stepping back into the wayback machine into the days of yore, we had a friend who was the quintessential blonde – white blonde, incredibly blue eyes but dumb as a fox.  this chick could walk into a party and walk out with more dope than she came in with and had no money. but…. she simply could not drive.  i dont mean she just was an inexperienced diver, this chick owned several telephone poles and totaled her cars like no one i can remember.  i remember her taking ick to downtown philly to pick up some speakers for his stereo.  during their trip around broadstreet, he jumped out of the car with speakers and took off running. there was no way he was riding home with her.  then she drove me, my bestest bud in the world and a guy with connections to go cop a sheet.  we made it to villanova, all of us white knuckling it and with bile in the back of our throats.  we made the deal and got back into the car and the ride home was easily one of the most horrifying rides of my life.  at one point we were begging her to let us out of the car (she had the locks locked so we couldnt get out) and told us i brought you here, i’m taking you home.  i swear – hand to heart, i saw a black man turn white. im sure i was fluorescent white myself.  never ever again.  not long after that, i was walking to icks house and she pulled up and offered me a ride.  i told her no, im enjoying the walk and the sun. there was not a snowballs chance in hell that id get into a car with her even for 3 blocks.  sigh.

but here i am, living in the country (finally, i really hate people and need my fresh air, and at this time of the year, the mini moo’s, baby baa’s – the circle of life starting up again) and when its still dark out in the morning – why on gods green earth should i stop for a stop sign when there is no one anywhere near me?  if i even think i see a headlight, which never happens, i will come to a complete stop cause its the right thing to do. but if there isnt any oncoming lights – that sign is optional.  now traffic lights, whatever time it is are NEVER optional cause i know where 50 hang out.  but what i found to be extremely hilarious this morning was…. as i was riding down 340 i happened to catch a shetland pony trotting across the amish farms front yard.  no, said pony was not in his pen, he was out for a stroll.  he actually looked to be happy about it as well.  i wonder though, had i been 30 seconds earlier, would i have caught him in the road in front of me?  only the shadow knows.

however, today was a crappy day at work.  writing is making the shitty day fade. being socially unattractive im not going to apologize for working with little puerto rico and being the only white chick on the morning shift.  and fuck you if you dont like it. im not here to be liked all the time.  i have customers complain about the spanish constantly being spoken back in the drive thru/sandwhich station which i am not allowed anywhere near. i run the front counter and i run it well and i am not allowed to leave the front counter.  i get compliments right and left, and i make each customer feel welcome and compliment each customer on something they’re wearing or some such thing.  the spanish is bothering me as well. its making me get to the point of looking for another job despite my incredibly awesome customers.  im the only one who gets consistent excellent customer reviews sent in. it got to the point today that i told my boss to have our “new” shift manager get off my back because i know how to do my job and i do it well.  for instance – i took $15 out cause i needed a roll of quarters and dimes.  i put it far enough back on the counter so no one could lift it and when i get a free second, i go back and get my quarters and dimes.  apparently this bothered our new shift manager who told me that i am to give it to her.  i told her this is how i do it, this is how i always have done it because i never have anyone to depend on so i do it myself.  i have a feeling that she and i are going to have a come to jesus meeting soon.  but before i left, i gave her the dilly0 on what to expect this weekend.

there is a quilting convention and they will be busy.  she is going to have to take the extra coffee pot from drive thru and ignore their whining because walk ins will out number drive thrus until we get new pots in.  i had asked bossman if i could take the extra coffee pot from drive thru and he said so long as they arent using it and i told him bud – they’ll whine and cry about it and you need to do something about that cause im sick of it. in 2 to 3 months, my walk ins will out number drive thrus 6 to 2.  i dunno.  but i do know im calling the big boss and see if i can transfer to a closer store.  im done working in little puerto rico as i find the constant spanish discussions ignorant. and i am so sick of the whining of the spaninsh kids. they are the laziest tan kids i have ever met.  half the time my orders are ignored and my customers half to wait an incredibly long time which is unacceptable.  ive got seniority and one of them seems to think she runs the shop. sorry bitch, i got some news for you…

hmmmmm who should i piss off next????  so many people, so many assholes, so little time… <seg> like thats ever stopped me before! 😉

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