your gonna hear electric music solid walls of sound

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benny, benny, benny, benny and the jets (whistle righteously). outstanding tune if you ask me but then again, im an old fan of classic rock music and elton john is no exception!  if i had to make an all time excellent driving disc, this tune would be on it.  car dancing notwithstanding lol.

there is only one way to listen to music and it is only solid walls of sound.  sadly lol its also because of my belief in solid walls that my hearing is somewhat damaged.   not just because i went to over a hundred concerts as a teenager (my father was under the belief that he was encouraging my deep love of music. he was, but he was also enabling my penchant for partying my ass off at said concerts lol and i knew who to know <seg>), but because i also listened to my walkman at full volume (walkman SA, whats that? – go google it kids lol), ok, here it is, i think  my stereo at home at full volume  (till mom started banging on the wall for me to turn it down, and in my car, which was a perfect concert hall.  i could crank that stereo at full volume and you could hear poppa was a rollin stone 3 blocks away!  loves me my motown! ok. my hearings not somewhat damaged, its really messed up lmsao.  a lot of it i blame on uncle ted at the tower in upper darby.  small intimate theatre, not a single bad seat in the house, perfect acoustics and i had 8th row seats.  lustful sigh – uncle ted in all his glory 20 feet away and speakers galore! mmmmm. i couldnt hear for 3 days and it was so worth it!!!

ive had this lyric in draft for quite some time however, life throwing me a curve ball inevitably fucks it up. and ive been tossed another curve ball and this certainly isnt going the way i intended it to go.  waking up to some really sucky news (and bitching at tom to answer my fone if im asleep and him telling me if my fone isnt in the bedroom, he wont answer it, jackass) and i mean really sucky news is just a wonderful way to start the day. what makes it even worse is there is nothing i can do about it. and i hate that.  and there is the realization that you are the one who screwed up the familial relationships (well hell, i knew it all all along and i had/have my reasons) and you try to make it right with the sisters.  i’ve always joked that there is no state in this union big enough for the 3 of us to be in.  at least for very long.  will it work?  only time will tell. glod love ya kiiiiiiiiiiid kid rock. you’ve been on high rotaton lately!

but on a lighter side, i have this absolutely GORGEOUS bruise on my upper arm and i have no idea how it got there! i am considering having it tattood for a fantastic memory’s sake~!  what a freakin hoot that day was!   getting lost sucks and no i am not getting a megellan tom.  funny i didnt think of it but i have telnav on my fone….  *looking everywhere but at you all* ALWAYS LISTEN TO THAT INNER VOICE!!!

aight. i’ve lost the mojo today. ive got too much on my mind to give you all, gentle readers something worth reading and please accept my apology.  aahhh but not so fast…  last week my best bud and i were sitting at the bar and there is a new young bartender (if she’s 16 i’ll be surprised lol. youth is wasted on the young).  in walks a fine lookin man in his vvmc colors. (sadly the bar does have a no colors rule).  there werent that many of us there so the rules were relaxed a bit for him and i was givin the chance to flirt a bit (its what i do – c’mon already!) and kel texted the owner to see if he could stay as his brothers were on they’re way.  oh the fun we had that afternoon.  the bartender (again, if she is 16 ill be surprised lol) said whats that – pointing to the classic rock channel on the tv – to which i replied, music.  flash grinned at me and the rest of us started laughing.  we strung it out as long as we could having him there because we were having a great time but eventually my dearest owner (im beng nice here honey lol) said no – if we relax the rules for one, we have to for all.  which we all understand, it is a biker bar after all.  so flash – you have a fan or 4 out here at the maple.  you will not be forgotten, and definintely not by me!  🙂

and on that note my friends,  i bid you a fond adieux…. at least till i get my mojo back lol

the muse is gone

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gentle reader but that could ever so slightly be construed as a shout out to some serious car dancing bb king and me lurves me some bb king.  saw him oh how many years ago with three chord george (as he’s known around here) 0r as the rest of the world knows him as George Thorogood and the Delaware Destroyers.  the man can only play  3 chords but damn thems soom good chords lol.

my mental jukebox is rapid cycling manic while im depressed. lol my shrinks gonna love this.  hell its even giving me a chuckle now and then but its also making me very nervous.  i was dealing yesterday with some serious nin – not necessarily a good thing but hell, bow down before the one you serve, youre gonna get what you deserve.  i may post the vid as i do adore aw fuck whats his name again?  had it but its gone. hurt would be obvious but im not generally obvious.  even the johnny cash version which makes me cry would still be obvious.  now closer…. mad chuckle tom  made me get rid of that disc cause he was offended by closer lol.  hey – it made me dance rather provocatively <seg>.  hmm mebbe someday i’ll spell check.  i dont do it in real life since half the time i am having hard time speaking english anymore so why not let my writing reflect that?  ps i went out and got that nin disc again lol.

i like to come out side (out front) most mornings after ive taken the dogs out to do their bidness and sit here with my coffee as the traffic goes by,  i get a honk or two but thats only from those who know i live here as no one can see me sitting here. i come out and look for my little buddy, a hmmm id say over a yearling rabbit who lives i think under my shed.  he is not frighened when i come out, rather he just looks at me with his ears forward and i just tell him good morning and talk to him.  i look up, and there he is by the swing set – all of id say 30 to 40 feet from me.  i tell him mornin bud as he goes about his business of cleaning himself.  nope – i think this is a younger wabbit.  we have some very young wabbits.  my bud has been known to sit 10 foot off my door and not even move while i come out with my coffee and he is used to me- i can tell by how his ears change and now how he will clean himself around me with his eyes at half mast.  nope, this one is too small, i can tell by the ears.  but he’s learning its safe here.  lol the killer – i have a westie – a natural vermin predator. vermin in this sense, wabbit hunter,  my dogs are leashed out back when they want to go out a) pa is a leash law state and b) kilo is a runner. pez the westie was so totally focused in on something by the fence that a tiny and i mean tiny wabbit got its balls up and just flew right past him with me on the ground pointing and laughing at the incompetent vermin hunter. seriously, this wittle wabbit had to have skinned him and pez didnt even notice lol.  but i think im going to get some greens and lettuce – the carrots i threw out over the last few days didnt really seem to do the trick, unless the rat bastards took them at night,   we believe they nest under our shed so i have no problem with it.  wabbits are cool.

ahh but what is NOT cool is that todays high is to be in the 90s.  not cool Socially Unattractive? you live to be wearing as little as possible so as not to be arrested type heat.  well, tis true but according to the weather troll, this heat is foreshadowing some very bad boomers later today.  tru dat but…. these could be very bad and i dont like these that are very bad. from the outside that is.

well – i got a crapload and a half to do today so i will leave you with some bb – the thrill is gone..  he’s not playing lucille but still – its bb…

Secrets stolen from deep inside the drum beats out of time

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well gentle readers, i’ve come out of the closet so to speak. i posted a comment on a blog i just started to follow (its heartbreaking, uplifting, agonizingly painful yet full of hope and awesome) that i found from another blog i follow that is in so many ways much the same and rather than using my normal nic, i posted as sociallyunattractive.  hows that for putting yourself out there?  am i ready for it? oh hell no.  why did i do it? i have no clue.  maybe its a way to force myself to write more. it is cathartic.

secrets stolen from deep inside. huh. i wish someone would steal the secrets from deep inside. most of them i talk about with my shrinker and due to the nutcase, i will not reveal here but still, the memories remain like painful open wounds that will never heal, no matter how hard i try to close them up and relegate them into the darkest closet in the back of my mind.  and like secrets stolen, the drum beats out of time so that you can not get your footing, you are unsteady, constantly tripping on your feet – never sure of which direction to go, or if the memory(ies) will stop ripping you to shreds this year and if the nightmares will stop. maybe. who am i kidding, they never do.

hmm. this isnt all that bad new england clam chowder.  i like new england clam chowder.

i wish life was a tidy melody on the level of celtic folk music by fairport convention or perhaps traffic’s john barleycorn must die. or even early jethro tull.  a minstrels flute whistling high and low, weaving out a melody in and around the guitars gentle song.  its a heady brew to  lift you up into the clouds and to gently carry you back into the earth, your heart bursting with song.  but life does not work that way gentle readers. life fucks you up, kicks you around and screws with your head. and – you make plans, God laughs.  aint that grand?

hmm. i sat on this post two days cause i was tired when i got home from work.  kinda needed the naps as well – my neck and arm aching and today, the neck, arm and head aching.  and i still dont know where i want to go.  my beloved larry died on me and was just towed to the garage.  i got to work yesterday and as soon as i pulled into the parking lot, she abruptly died on me. uh oh. not good. i turned the key to start her up, and she started right up praise God. i pulled into my parking spot relieved but the nagging voice in my head was whispering uh oh.  later yesterday morning, i sent my beloved a text telling him what happened and my beloved butthead called me. im sure ive told him several times i can not get phone calls at work unless someone is dying or gushing blood lol. i fortunatly was in the back so i was ok in taking the call because i knew why he was calling me.  we discussed larry and he told me he thought it was in the electrics. me, not being a car chick didnt really care, i was more worried about making it home.

so.. on my way home, i got on the route i take and no more than 5 minutes home, larry bucked on me. hmm interesting.  but we made it home ok and im happy.  beloved gets home and starts working on the car, not being a car guy that he is.  he does know some things and has an instinctive knowledge of stuff.  he did manage to recreate the incident and after that, larry refused to start, again. and not start again. so we call the garage to let them know whats happening and we’re having larry towed.  the tow just got her bout 10 minutes ago. so i get to drive his truck to work and best of all, I GET TO HAVE MUSIC!!!! finally, i get to listen to music on my way to work. you see, larry’s radio does not work on a consistent basis. being the musicphile that i am, i do not function well with no music. fortunately i have the gray matter jukebox but that sadly does not function like it used to. but i get to listen to music on my way to work again. what we’re dreading is whats it going to cost to get larry out of hock.  sigh.

huh lindsay lohan looks like she stoned during her interview with matt lauer lol. shes my favorite train wreck and i think she’ll be the next whitey houston.  its sad but i think its true. *shrugs* opinions are like assholes. everyone has one and this is just mine. and my drum is still beating out of time and i dont know how to get the cadence back into time. this last year was so awful and it seems like this year is starting to look like its starting out like last year, with the passing of a friend.  huh. time after time.

time after time

time after time

i just wish it would go away.


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