Its been a long time coming

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Yes gentle readers, i know ive been mia the last couple of years. Ive just had some heavy socially unattractive shit that ive had to go thru.  Lol contrary to the comments of a narcissistic psychopath, no im not dead or nor have i been in jail. Lol. Some losers…

But i digress. Im getting the wild hair to write again. A little to be sure, but its there. Lmsao the loogie story which i just told my beloved will be featured lol. A 5 minute story that took me half an hour and 4 different side stories lol.

My children are growing up and flying high. My daughter mini me and ger husband just bought their first motorcycles (thats my kids)  and my son was discharged from the army honorably and is back in school on the gi bill. A mom couldnt be more proud!!

Well on that note i think ive caught you up on the life according to socially unattractive. Im sure there will be more to come lol.

 

koolaid on a summers day wait is it really summer?

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hello koolaid my old friend, ive come to drink with you again.  ahh koolaid, the quintessential summer drink. but, the question that remains on my part is – is it really summer?  the last month (july) was COLD and rainy. i can deal with rainy if i have to, but its summer. its july. its supposed to be in the high 80’s to somewhere in the 90’s.  not the 70’s like its been for the last several weeks. im losing my tan dammit.

now granted, due to my exercise program (i ROCK), i dont drink anything but water on a daily basis, its a great way to flush toxins and keep your skin fresh.  but…. i enjoy a glass of sweet tea or koolaid now and again and i’ve found that if i ignore the craving for too long, i over do it and thats not what my program is about. its about healthy living and regular exercise. ive already lost a nice chunk of weight since i joined in jan – to the point where i can take off a pair of jeans without unbuttoning or unzipping them. they slide right over my hips and butt so easily!  im so damn proud of myself.

im sorry ive been gone for so very long. i know some of you actually enjoy what i write – the socially unattractive life of jen lol but the last year + has been interesting to say the least and i just havent had it in me to write.  i started a new job last sept, working at a school and this is my first summer vacation in 30+ years.  i dont think i like it very much, i desperately need the routine.  going to the gym 3x a week helps tho.  im still a bipolar anxious panicy bitch but thanks to my paid best friend, im coping much better with it.  then again, due to extraordinary rx costs of my bipolar med, i had to half it.  its been a few months since i did that and i find i need the whole dose.  too much rapid cycling going on that messes up my head. so i’ll buck up and pay the extra money for the full dosage.  sigh my budget doesnt need this hit lol.

but – where the hell is summer?  we hardly had much of a spring – came late then got HOT (i love it).  june was lovely, in the pool several times a week working on my tan. but then, like i said above, then came the rain and chilly temps.  so much for global warming eh? what a joke.  but its going to be a gorgeous day today, sunny in the 80’s, yippee!!!  mebbe i’ll get the old man to take me for a putt when he gets home if he’s not too tired.  i worry about my beloved. he works so hard to take care of us so i treat him like a king.  waiting on him hand and foot is a true pleasure for me, because i get it back and after the hell ive been thru with men in my life, my beloved is a rare treasure.  he deserves to be a king.

on a truly wonderful note – my son, my most awesome and handsome son turned 22 yesterday. holy shit where the hell did the time go?  i remember my smiling blue eyed boy laughing and playing outside and miss that so much.  why do kids have to grow up?  but m’boy is in the army now – and i couldnt be more proud of him if i tried.  and im a damn proud army mom!!!  and if that aint the shit, my awesome minime will be 25 soon.  jesus.  brats looking at grad schools in fields i couldnt understand if i tried. that physics brain of hers will take her places.  she had a slight detour in her life plan, but i believe that was gods doing in that he took her out of potential harms way.  i doubt she see’s it that way, but its the only thing that makes sense to me.

ahhhh summertime. i do love it even though im not dealing with it well lol. cant wait to go back to school and ANYONE who’s known me for a very long time will be laughing their asses off at that statement considering i despise and hate school.  ive started a little flower garden out front of the hobbit house, my lavender is doing wonderfully and i just transplanted a baby bleeding heart out front. my basil is HUGE and i put my chicks and hens in a strawberry pot.  they’re thriving wonderfully and are hardy in zone 5 where i live. not bad for a cactus lol.  i lined part of the garden with purple and pink alyssum, such pretty plants.  got the ok from the landlord to put some plants in out back – a large bleeding heart and two white alyssums on either side.  i find im not that bad at growing plants.  next year i will put in annuals for color.

ahhh summertime – livins easy

http://youtu.be/bn5TNqjuHiU

damn i cant post the video now. oh well… click the link. janis is amazing live.

 

 

with mad ninja skills

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i attacked the upcoming nest of carpenter bees that are attempting to move in over my back door. grumpy killed 3 of the nasty critters already, looking like a circus sideshow freak with arms and legs flailing – fly swatter swishing and swashing. but still, there was one (that i know of) that was left and he was bound and determined to take up residence.  over my dead body.

when i saw him land and “walk in his front door”, i said ENOUGH!. in the house i went in search of the flyswatter that is always in its accustomed place.  i knew that but i still had to look.  its what i do.  i know where it is. i know that its there, near the back door. but i still have to take a quick look around.  but with flyswatter in my hand like a samurai sword, out the back door i went, on the sneak attack.

wham wham wham i banged the overhang about where i knew he was and sure enough, a few seconds later out he came  and would you believe, this bee looked right at me and tried to poo on me!!!! (yes, bee’s poo). then he started his buzzing around our back porch.  after watching him closely to get an idea of how he was going to react, and how i was going to ninja him down and kill him, i assumed the crane position, and with a waaooaoaoaao off i went.

the bee zigged, the bee zagged with me in hot pursuit. when he zigged, i zigged. when he zagged, i zagged watching him ever so closely in order to get an idea of where he was going to go. this was no ordinary carpenter bee, this bee was a pro, he obviously had been stalked before. i followed him around the grill, swatter at the ready waiting for my shot.  this bee gave me a run for my ninja skill money and wasnt making this easy. i guess you dont get that big without being able to evade hunters.  but he hadnt met me yet.  a mistake he would regret with his life.

i saw my opening when he hesitated briefly and SWAT came the swatter/samurai sword and i took that damn bee down right out of the air. but he was only stunned. for now. the hapless and shortly dead bee was on the ground, little legs flailing and i attacked that sob with a ferociousness  reserved for anyone who messes with my kids. whap whap whap whap whap. with each whap, the bee moved a bit so im chasing this dying menace across the patio making good and sure he was going to be dead shortly.  im tellin ya gentle readers, you’d think that with the strength of my samurai sword, he’d have been flattened but good but nooooo, the good Lord made these bees damn near indestructible.  it took me a good 6 shots with my swatter to make sure he was dead (i wasnt wearing shoes so there was no stomping on said bee) but he wouldnt flatten and when i hit something, i hit it like a man.  i dont play games.

finally, the bee gave up his ghost and met the DEATH of BEE’S. with arms raised in a V and the dead lay in a pool of bee goo below, i did my victory dance of joy.  you do know, its hard to enjoy your patio when you have bigassed carpenter bees flying around. i like to enjoy my patio and thats also where we put out the heinous hounds. so its a good idea to be bee free.  we’ve got our exercise equipment out there, a picnic table, chairs, cooler and a grill. its a happenin patio.  we also share it with our neighbor who is free to use our stuff (sans exercise equipment).  we’re nice that way. if you use the grill, just give us a few bucks for the propane or buy a tank lol.  we have a great neighbor so we dont mind.

it finally looks like the DEATH of BEES has taken up residence out back warning carpenter bees of their impending doom should they decide to try to move in. the front porch however….. has those nasty hornet/wasps. not the happy yellow jackets that will fly away if you swat at their general direction or blow smoke at them. nooooo, these fuckers, if you try a concerted attack will come after you with repeated stings (not speaking from experience here lol).  these critters who are trying to take up residence will need a different kind of attack – the raid bee killer can, sprayed at dusk in the areas where they are trying to make a home.  you see, we also enjoy sitting out front in the late afternoons watching the traffic go by. its a country living thing.  we have our table and chairs with buttcan (we smoke outside) set up nicely to enjoy everything from the beautiful sunrises we get here, to the boomers moving over the fields to nightfall, when its cool and breezy and feels so comfortable.

as you can see, i dont like bees gentle readers lol. but my mad ninja skills proved effective in ridding our back patio of a very large and nasty critter!  now to get the hounds, particularly pez from chasing birds or copping the smell of the young rabbits who live here. one of them got right by the little vermin killer without him even seeing it, to the delight of grumpy and i who watched the whole thing!

ahhhh country living. i wouldnt trade it for anything!

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